Temasek Poly Short Film - Reunion

In Nov 2010, James, a TP student invited me to act for their final year project (FYP) short film. I had acted for one of his classmate, Kang Ling's, short film in May, and he was one of the team member. I'm really glad they liked what I did and thus decided to cast me for their FYP. Thanks guys! =)

The Crew and Some Cast

Unfortunately, there were a few other groups from the same course who emailed me too and wanted me to act for them, however their lecturer had made known that repeat of actors/actresses was highly discouraged. So I could only hone my acting skills in 1 film for the school.

The protagonist is a materialistic woman who despised her husband and had an open affair. Very different from me I would say, but still a manageable role, cause I always have this secret wish to be evil. Haha.. Maybe that's why sometimes people get the impression that I'm bitchy, hard to get along with and stuff like that, especially when I stare with my big eyes or give the aloof expression.

Anyway, I had agreed to act for James and gang before I received the script. When I got the script, to my horror, there was a bed scene. I had never acted in any intimate scene nor anything close to it, and now even in my personal life, when my ex and I go to each other's houses, we wouldn't be lying on the same bed together. So that was a really huge challenge for me to deal with.

Thankfully, James the director was nice and said he will try to make it more conservative. So my co-actor and myself didn't have to be super duper intimate, just need to portray our relationship as lovers, and having a conversation in bed.

My "lover" whom I had the "bed scene" with.

That also led me into re-thinking what my limits are when it comes to my involvement in this industry? My clear cut NO-NO right from the start are no frontal nudity, no bikini and lingerie shoots. When I was in my late teens, early twenties, and particularly when I returned from USA in 2004, I was relatively liberal in my dressing. I really didn't think it was any big deal baring skin. I mean, Singapore's weather is so hot, and its quite common here, and even more revealing in the states that I'm considered mild. Plus I'm conservative in my values, what matters most is our heart on the inside right?

Well, Ezekiel 36:26-27 says

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws." 

After I accepted Christ as my personal Lord and Saviour, and after I made a decision to commit myself to Him (in late 2004), I started to learn of God's Word, His character, and to have a relationship with Him. I was slowly changed from the inside out, I also realised that it's not just about what I think/feel/do, but how my actions/words impacted others. In the case of dressing and skin, it has a very practical effect - men are wired to be visual creatures, and very often they get aroused by what they see, or sometimes.. what they do Not get to see.

1 Corinthians 10:31 - " Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God"

Therefore, over the years, I have to deliberately cover up more, higher necklines, no bare mid-riff. I don't want to stumble others, especially my brothers in Christ.

However, it's such a tall order! It's not just about dressing, it's really to do with our behaviour, words, thoughts, beliefs and values. I have to admit that I do fail from time to time, and sometimes without realising it. 

A recent case would be my previous photoshoot which were a little controversial amongst my friends. Basically the views are either "oooh, nice" or "wahh, very ahem", and a friend said he had his hands over his eyes while looking at the photos and were peering in between his fingers (I'm sure that's not what actually happened, but the idea is there).

All of those brought up the limit issue again. A presenting question to myself will be "what image do I want to portray to others?". A question that goes deeper is "how rooted are my values in Christ?"

My Sister told me before that she found me to be a very principled person, but in this case, my flesh and Spirit are in so much conflict that I want to choose to not think about it. But I guess I have to eventually lah, because it will pop up again sooner or later.

Anyways, back to the short film, I had uploaded the photos I took onto my facebook, but here they are again for those who are not on my FB.

My "husband" on the left and "lover" on the right

The entire cast

My "daughter" - so cute right??
Aiyoh, this angle emphasizes my eye bags/dark circles. Yes, I don't photoshop my photos, not yet anyway.. That's why you see my scars even in my profile photos, don't want clients to get a shock when they see me in person you know..

She's really super adorable, totally totally love her!

My "family"

Happy family with silly faces 1  =)

Happy family with silly faces 2  =)

A Peek into My Room

Gosh, I'm shifting house, or more accurately, I'm shifting room, in close to 3 weeks time!

It's quite a nightmare just thinking how to pack all my stuff in ONE room, that I marvel how people pack and move the entire house.

I shifted out of my parents' house in April 2010, and am staying with 2 other friends in a rented flat. Whenever someone asks me why I moved out, my reply would always be the same, "家家有本难念的经啊". I guess I've always been very independent too, staying in hall during university days, working in USA as a summer camp counselor for 3 months, traveling alone most times for another month after. Thus staying on my own now isn't a difficult thing.

Well, this time, I'm moving to stay with my grandparents and aunt. They very kindly offered to house me when my current lease is up, until I get married. Not sure how long that will be, but I relish at the thought of having home cooked food. All these years of eating oily and MSG-filled food, or having to content with my mediocre cooking skills, do make me fully appreciate hot meals cooked with love. And of course, nothing beats being together with family.

Perhaps because I have been so independent and took care of myself for so long, I yearn to be taken care of. But I absolutely refuse to simply find a man, get married and set up a family, just to achieve that. We  must have similar values and vision in God, we must be able to communicate, he must have the fear of God and integrity, I must be able to submit to him, and probably a never-ending list of "criteria" =X

Anyway, I digress.. I'm looking forward to moving! Although it's a headache planning where to place which furniture..

Here's some pics of my current room, as promised long ago.. =)

Looks really neat right? Didn't last long lah.. Haha..

Lelong Lelong! My Loss is Your Gain

It's the year end season where everyone is buying stuff, why not help a 'needy' person today and buy brand new and almost new items at a discount?

Well, that person is me because I'm moving soon, need space and need funds, so please help me to clear my stuff!

Currently there's apparels, cosmetics, electronics and even musical instrument. Simply click on the Lelong! tab at the top.

I will try to take pictures and update the lelong section periodically, so do check back! Or just email 7venseasons@ gmail.com to be put on mailing list so you can be updated automatically when new stuff are added.

Thank you! =)

Blogged @ shannonzann.com

Portfolio - New Glam Photos Up!

So glad I agreed to a photoshoot by Ronnie from JRshotz! Decided that it's high time to update my portfolio pictures since the last proper photoshoot I did was in Nov 2009, with Nicholas, a long time dear friend of mine.

These are some of my favourite photos!

There is this saying: "世上没有丑女人，只有懒女人”，"there's no ugly woman, only lazy woman". I totally agree with it with both my hands and legs up.

Without any makeup and stuff, I am not the naturally pretty (in society's terms) type, although I think I look presentable. But with the help of makeup, hairdo and outfit, I can be literally transformed. And I would say this goes for the majority of the women out there too, since only a small percentage of people in this world are born with really good looks.

Anyway, it's kinda weird looking at myself in photos like these. They're me, but not really me too. I love to doll up and look pretty when I have the opportunity to, but inside, I am actually kinda simple and conservative in certain aspects of values. I had been wanting to blog about "3 (or 5) myths of Shannon", but have been pushing it down the to-do list, and this would definitely make it to the top 3!

In any case, I love these photos =)

blogged @ http://shannonzann.com

"Three Questions to Ask Your Partner"

"They'll open doors for better communication and a stronger relationship

By Karen O'Connor


Margie and Bill faced each other in two living room chairs. Four couples observed as this husband and wife demonstrated a process they share with each other every Saturday morning.

This particular evening was part of a six-week lesson and discussion with our church home fellowship group on building intimacy in marriage.

I glanced at the three-by-five card in my hand. Bill had passed out one to each person. "This is a personal exercise," he announced. "Each partner is responsible for his or her part." The headline read: "Three Questions to Ask Each Other Every Week."

1. Is there anything that I need to apologize for? (i.e. Did I do anything that hurt you?)
2. Is there anything you need from me that you're not getting?
3. How can I be a better spouse?

I noticed my heart rate increase. There might be more here than I bargained for. Sure, I was open to a few tips. Charles and I had just celebrated 26 years of marriage and we could always use a refresher. Even so, a feeling of dread came over me. My husband and I were not the best at communicating about our own relationship. We were much better at evaluating other people's marriages!

I squirmed in my seat as I listened to Margie question Bill and then Bill ask the same of Margie. They were so honest. Not that I expected them to lie. Of course not. But could we do the same? 

To Ask or Not to Ask 

On the way home I asked Charles what he thought of the evening. "I don't think we need this process," he said. "We're talkers. We pretty much cover everything on a day-to-day basis."

I nodded, relieved not to wade in any deeper than we were already. And yet, I wanted to try—to see what would come up. My husband has a quick temper and I have a tendency to back off when things get hot so I couldn't predict how these questions would work for us.

And so we let it go, week after week after week. Then one day on a drive to the city, I suggested we test the process. We were in a good place emotionally and it seemed we could "practice" without the risk of a meltdown. He agreed. I started. "Is there anything that I need to apologize for?" I asked.

Charles paused. "I get frustrated by our lack of understanding each other, but it's not usually anything specific you've done." 

Whew! I got by easy on that one.

Next question. "Is there anything you need from me that you're not getting?" I sensed the answer before it came.

"I'd like more sexual intimacy. I know it's not like it used to be between us (before his prostate cancer), but I'd like to at least be playful with each other."

"That would be nice, but I'm scared," I replied. "I'm older now and I'm not as interested as I was. I like cuddling in bed and a massage is nice, but …"

"Okay, we can start there."

Relief. We'd gotten past the first two questions and we were still talking. Yeah!

"How can I be a better spouse?" I asked.

"I don't know. You work hard. You're good to me. I'm happy."

Nice to hear—all of it—even the part that had scared me. Now I worried that I might not be able to answer Charles' questions as easily as he answered mine. 

My Turn in the Hot Seat 

He started with question number one and I was quick to respond that his temper is an ongoing challenge and I need him to apologize when he takes out his anger with others on me. "I want us to talk about that habit and make some changes."

Question number two raised the hair on my arms. "Is there anything you need from me that you're not getting?"

I had a ready answer. "I need simple kindness," I said in a quiet voice. "I'm grateful for all your help, the gardening, ironing, painting, financial management, and your support of my writing but I long for a kind attitude, bits of grace when I'm stressed or worried."

His eyes opened wider. I knew I had picked at a scab. Our viewpoint on kindness differs. He seems to see it as practical acts of help. I view it as an understanding disposition and words of comfort.

And finally, the last question about how to be a better spouse. I told Charles he is a good mate, a willing partner in so many ways that matter, and aside from what I'd said before I didn't have anything to add. 

Love—and Then Some 

We hugged each other, said, "I love you," and agreed that even though the questions prickle, they also release pent-up anxiety about each other that festers if it's not expressed.

Have we repeated this process every week since? No. But we do talk more often now about the "state of our union" and we ask these and other questions that cover the same terrain. We're moving closer together. In fact, just this morning, I was able to ask Charles for mercy when he spouted his impatience over something trite. He apologized. I accepted it and then he left for a meeting. I don't know how it will be when he returns. But however it is, we'll have a conversation about that.

A marriage partnership, at least for us, is not 24/7 harmony. It's about telling and living in the truth of the moment. The three questions included here can help. They've helped us. But don't stop there. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you to the questions and answers that work for you. "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" (Proverbs 3:5, NIV). I can't imagine better advice than that.

Karen O'Connor is a freelance writer and writing mentor from Watsonville, California. Visit Karen at www.karenoconnor.com. "

*** 

I enjoy reading such articles on relationships/marriage, because having had only 2 boy-girl relationships before, I have limited personal experiences in trying out what it takes to make such r/s work. 
Thus reading about others' experiences allows me to learn from them, know that I'm not alone in facing certain situations, expand my views and mindset regarding marriage and 2 people living their lives together, and ultimately start preparing myself for my own matrimony in future. 

This article is from Kyria.com, under the Marriage & Family segment.  

They have other topics as well, such as prayer, missions, woman's ministry, church leadership, parenting, finances etc. 
Although they are christian-based, the tips and values are very relevant and useful to non-christians as well. 
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