In Nov 2010, James, a TP student invited me to act for their final year project (FYP) short film. I had acted for one of his classmate, Kang Ling's, short film in May, and he was one of the team member. I'm really glad they liked what I did and thus decided to cast me for their FYP. Thanks guys! =)
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| The Crew and Some Cast |
Unfortunately, there were a few other groups from the same course who emailed me too and wanted me to act for them, however their lecturer had made known that repeat of actors/actresses was highly discouraged. So I could only hone my acting skills in 1 film for the school.
The protagonist is a materialistic woman who despised her husband and had an open affair. Very different from me I would say, but still a manageable role, cause I always have this secret wish to be evil. Haha.. Maybe that's why sometimes people get the impression that I'm bitchy, hard to get along with and stuff like that, especially when I stare with my big eyes or give the aloof expression.
Anyway, I had agreed to act for James and gang before I received the script. When I got the script, to my horror, there was a bed scene. I had never acted in any intimate scene nor anything close to it, and now even in my personal life, when my ex and I go to each other's houses, we wouldn't be lying on the same bed together. So that was a really huge challenge for me to deal with.
Thankfully, James the director was nice and said he will try to make it more conservative. So my co-actor and myself didn't have to be super duper intimate, just need to portray our relationship as lovers, and having a conversation in bed.
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| My "lover" whom I had the "bed scene" with. |
That also led me into re-thinking what my limits are when it comes to my involvement in this industry? My clear cut NO-NO right from the start are no frontal nudity, no bikini and lingerie shoots. When I was in my late teens, early twenties, and particularly when I returned from USA in 2004, I was relatively liberal in my dressing. I really didn't think it was any big deal baring skin. I mean, Singapore's weather is so hot, and its quite common here, and even more revealing in the states that I'm considered mild. Plus I'm conservative in my values, what matters most is our heart on the inside right?
Well,
Ezekiel 36:26-27 says
"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws."
After I accepted Christ as my personal Lord and Saviour, and after I made a decision to commit myself to Him (in late 2004), I started to learn of God's Word, His character, and to have a relationship with Him. I was slowly changed from the inside out, I also realised that it's not just about what I think/feel/do, but how my actions/words impacted others. In the case of dressing and skin, it has a very practical effect - men are wired to be visual creatures, and very often they get aroused by what they see, or sometimes.. what they do Not get to see.
1 Corinthians 10:31 - " Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God"
Therefore, over the years, I have to deliberately cover up more, higher necklines, no bare mid-riff. I don't want to stumble others, especially my brothers in Christ.
However, it's such a tall order! It's not just about dressing, it's really to do with our behaviour, words, thoughts, beliefs and values. I have to admit that I do fail from time to time, and sometimes without realising it.
A recent case would be my previous photoshoot which were a little controversial amongst my friends. Basically the views are either "oooh, nice" or "wahh, very ahem", and a friend said he had his hands over his eyes while looking at the photos and were peering in between his fingers (I'm sure that's not what actually happened, but the idea is there).
All of those brought up the limit issue again. A presenting question to myself will be "what image do I want to portray to others?". A question that goes deeper is "how rooted are my values in Christ?"
My
Sister told me before that she found me to be a very principled person, but in this case, my flesh and Spirit are in so much conflict that I want to choose to not think about it. But I guess I have to eventually lah, because it will pop up again sooner or later.
Anyways, back to the short film, I had uploaded the photos I took onto my facebook, but here they are again for those who are not on my FB.
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| My "husband" on the left and "lover" on the right |
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| The entire cast |
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My "daughter" - so cute right??
Aiyoh, this angle emphasizes my eye bags/dark circles. Yes, I don't photoshop my photos, not yet anyway.. That's why you see my scars even in my profile photos, don't want clients to get a shock when they see me in person you know.. |
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| She's really super adorable, totally totally love her! |
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| My "family" |
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| Happy family with silly faces 1 =) |
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| Happy family with silly faces 2 =) |
